- new broadcast materials & production scheduling
- research, meetings, interviews, etc. (I love what I do!)
- emotional stuff (See challenges)
- getting back to my writing (journalistic type for articles for media outlet)
My counselor asked me to write a timeline about traumas I’ve experienced. She wasn’t sure if my previous counselors or psychiatrists had ever asked me. Nope, not one. To them I was merely a thriving, intelligent individual who didn’t seem adversely effected by trauma I endured. Though this is true, I still needed and wanted to bring closure to those experiences that haunted me.
I’d like to thank all of therapists at the VA who didn’t care enough to do their job and get to the root of my issues. It forced me to learn things that I never thought possible as well as develop my character, heart, and overall resolve. By it I hope and pray that I become a better counselor and therapist; one who will not gloss over the needs of people but who also discerns and understands enough to get to the heart of the matter.
When you’re not getting what you believe you need to heal or to develop then you need to shift and go into another direction. Well the direction may be correct but you may need to learn how to drive and get rid of the backseat driver(s), the nay sayers, and/or those who just don’t get it. Finding and connecting to those who will be honest, supportive, and hold you accountable isn’t always easy, but it is necessary. I’m so grateful for where I am right now.
I’m worthy of respect. The trauma I went through is real. It was hidden for so long, yet I see where it began to spill out in my behaviors. You just don’t talk about being depressed or having mental illness. It still isn’t easy for me to speak about PTSD or depression openly. But I’m learning that my opening up about it and the things I faced may actually help someone else. Plus, I’m in a place that no one can take the glory for my development and healing but God. I’m still here despite the almost deadly car accident and the abandonment, despite seeing someone commit suicide and my own attempts, despite being physically and emotionally abused. YES! …I’M … STILL… HERE!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you. (Isaiah 43:2 Amplified)
I’m living life out loud and giving God the glory. I’m still here and one step closer to my goal of getting rid of the weight and sin that so easily entangles and distracts me. I’m one step closer to being healed. I’m one step closer to being healthy and having healthy relationships. I’m one step closer to my emotional, spiritual, economic, and physical freedom. I’m losing weight! Yeah baby! (giggles)
NOTE: February is Heart Disease Awareness month. Though it may be famous for Valentine’s Day and Black History Month, it brings something special for me this year – being heart healthy. Healing is on the menu in February. So, remember, whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly. Know that having a big heart can and will destroy you physically, emotionally, and financially. More about that later. And please, take care of yourself, guard your heart and may you “prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers.”